The Journal of Francesca Johnson

 

The Journal of Francesca Johnson

Author’s note: This is a creative piece of a journal I believe Francesca would have written about Robert Kincaid after her husband returns.  Since this is a bittersweet romance. I believe that it is an irony.  I think that this piece captures her feelings after the fact. 

Francesca lives the rest of her life depressed and living with her distant unloving husband.  The outcome of her life is somewhat like the ending of Dear John by Nicholas Sparks.  In the end of that book, the main character was married to another man while John was fighting in Iraq.  He returns and finds out, but doesn’t want to disrupt her marriage.  Just as Francesca did, she stayed with her husband even though they both loved another man.   Please enjoy my  piece, The Journal of Francesca Johnson.

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Have you ever set your eyes upon someone, and just knew you wanted to be with them? A simple look and instant attraction.......

At that very moment, I saw everything.  A ribbon of my life... A timeline with him.  Dates.  Our wedding.  Children.  Us holding hands, gliding into our golden years.  I wasn't sure if it was in the heat of the moment, but I felt a yearning in my soul.  A vital hole of human connection missing.  Something no one had shared with me.  Until I had first laid eyes on him.

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Was it the way he looked at me?  Was it the jolt of desperation and loneliness surging through my body?  My heart and mind are two separate things.  They are hard to decipher at times.  I couldn't be sure. But I knew that I wanted to be with him forever; truly and surely. 

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One moment may impact your life, either sending you hurtling down on your back, knocking your breath away.  Or leaving you distressed and weakened. Then, I didn’t know exactly how he would impact my life.  He just didn’t impact it...he changed every aspect of my life.

That moment could change the way you look at life and the very essence of your being.  Questioning whether or not we really exist...or is it a matter of our feelings? 

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Feelings may drag you headfirst... That time. I was pushed headfirst…And definitely fell hard.

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His eyes were warm, kind and slightly humored.  I loved that about him.  I remember the way he would look at me.  So gentle and kind to me.  What a way for someone to look at you.  Your heart would just sing…And pound.  He made me feel young, and free again. Also, he made me feel beautiful…truly beautiful.  He didn’t just look at me...He looked at my heart.

Cold.  Dead eyes staring at me.  My husband shakes me.  My love is gone.  He mumbles something to me, and I shake my head.  I don’t want him to know I was dreaming, and he mustn’t know.  Never did I want my husband to discover my secret.  It would just be between us and that week.

…Almost as if it were a secret vow. 

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