Author's note: I took this picture at Lake Michigan. This piece is just about the scenery there. Hope you like this piece!
I smelled the aroma of salt and water. The water licked at my toes giving a chill through my body. My skin felt warm at the touch from the blazing sun. Nearby a few children were picking up seashells and examining them with their tiny little hands. I looked up and admired the sky. I saw the sun just in the middle of the sky. Dreamy blue clouds rolled past. I bent down and felt the soft sand between my fingers. I closed my eyes a moment and forced myself to remember everything I had seen. A memory so precious to me, it wouldn't leave my heart ever. As this would be my last moment right here and right now.
Wow, blazing, a good word. It gives you a feel of relaxation. A story that gan dig deep into you and carve you out like a pumpkin.
ReplyDeleteWell, I don't know if it carves me out like a pumpkin, but I will say the sensory images are so strong that you do place the reader right where you want. That is well executed. I would add for advise that you may wish to reflect on how often you refer to yourself with the use of "I". That can be a weakness if you don't reel it in under control. But listen: I love your blog so far!!
ReplyDeleteWow... I felt like I was there when I read that.
ReplyDeleteI love the picture. It helps you get a feel for the scene. Also, I will agree with Sara when you used the word blazing, it was brilliant. Great word choice. And well done.
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